Please take a moment to help us do our job better.

The following will help us sort you, while also offering us invaluable feedback on what our next collection of music should sound like (in order to best accommodate the sorted).

1. Where are my millions?

   a.) Penciled in

   b.) To take the edge off

   c.) Another thing coming

   d.) Packed for all possible seasons

   e.) Magistrate seeks romance

2. My favorite ocean is:

    a.) milk

    b.) cream

    c.) eggs

    d.) strawberries

    e.) sugar

3. Before going to bed:

    a.) food coloring

    b.) “stop talking about your ideal gravestone or I’ll send you to it now”

    c.) everyone is afraid

    d.) more compression

    e.) I’m on fire

4. Unstable sense of self-worth:

    a.) *Gulp*

   b.) Where will lust lead me?

   c.) Allergic to cats

   d.) Frighteningly incorrect shade of aura

   e.) Fashionably uninvited

5. Next up:

   a.) Prince of Darkness

   b.) Public Defender

   c.) The mafia, more or less

   d.) Void, of course

   e.) The famous are usually correct

6. The world is up there and I am way down here: 

   a.) Questionable blast radius

   b.) A polymer capable of anything

   c.) I can feel it but I can’t see it

   d.) Black tie required

   e.) Back to work

7. Impossibly nice cops:

   a.) Entirely reasonable

   b.) Somewhat reasonable

   c.) Neither here nor there

   d.) Somewhat unreasonable

   e.) Entirely unreasonable

8. Blind ambition led me here:

   a.) Threshold for cash flow

   b.) Maximum Aerosmith

   c.) Scene of the crime

   d.) No guilty pleasure only pleasure

   e.) I need a shave

9. Overachiever is to ______ as ______ is to _______: 

   a.) Broke. Again.

   b.) At knifepoint

   c.) As a tourist in your own bed

   d.) There is no period on this sentence

   e.) Because I wanted to

10. I am never alone:

   a.) Melting

   b.) Somewhere down there

   c.) Who’s laughing now?

   d.) Follow the equator

   e.) Alpha and Omega

11. A situation I could never quite avoid:

   a.) Jacketed in light

   b.) A healthy lunch is all I need

   c.) Where are my millions?

   d.) Animals incapable of pain

   e.) Never go to bed angry

12. Safe in the cull:

   a.) Discovered by searchlights

   b.) Good advice

   c.) Not enough to share

   d.) “On my desk by tomorrow morning.”

   e.) Sickened by the nostalgia of others, but not your own

13. Can’t dead horses dig up themselves?

   a.) A new month has been discovered

   b.) Sprawling bloat

   c.) I can’t see that far

   d.) A paltry offering

   e.) Kidnapped, living well.

14. Nudity doesn’t grab me like it used to:

   a.) My father’s son

   b.) Inappropriately timed farewell

   c.) Destination Wedding

   d.) Facts are facts

   e.) Born ready

15. Some fantasies are better than others:

   a.) I tested out

   b.) Pathetic bitrate, this won’t do

   c.) Sleeping soundly

   d.) They don’t make medicine for this

   e.) Sophomore effort

16. I am not disturbed: 

   a.) I open my mouth and the words come to me

   b.) Lifelong acne

   c.) 40hz and below

   d.) Slumber party

   e.) Complete collapse

17. Overnight in the reeds:

   a.) A new trick

   b.) Cloyingly sweet

   c.) They don’t really mean it

   d.) Chiseled features

   e.) It’s easy to start a fight

18. My favorite sensation is ______: 

   a.) Grass that doesn’t grow

   b.) I could somersault to the moon

   c.) DVD collection

   d.) Where are my millions?

   e.) I’m not playing, they’re insane

19. I could listen to the radio all day long and all night long: 

   a.) My closest friends

   b.) “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you”

   c.) Reduced on all sides

   d.) Easy money

   e.) A deadly combination

20. My expectations are low:

   a.) I can feel it

   b.) Don’t tell me what I want to hear

   c.) Buzzer beater

   d.) Laughter is my currency

   e.) Early favorites include ______

21. If I understood: 

   a.) Celebrity would keep me from saying the wrong things

   b.) Drifting off

   c.) You look positively ancient

   d.) Nothing between us anymore

   e.) Close to extinction

22. Desire can only take me so far: 

   a.) Photo finish

   b.) I’ve never seen the ocean

   c.) Another pleased customer

   d.) Only slightly offended

   e.) Trickle down, you’ll find your spenders

23. Every ounce of my strength: 

   a.) Safely negotiated

   b.) He’s not going away, is he?

   c.) The view from up here

   d.) Turned on by your screenname

   e.) Pure ammunition

24. The ground looked on fire:

   a.) Carried in beaks

   b.) Magical, the wrong kind of magical

   c.) You are perfect

   d.) Final round

   e.) A real thrill

25. I am:

    a.) Dead

    b.) Alive

Thank you for your time. Please print out your answers and send the results to:

S. Smith

49 South 2nd Street

Brooklyn, NY 11249








3 thoughts on “Please take a moment to help us do our job better.

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